Want to wine and dine with the glitterati of the world? Want to be the toast of the town? Want to have intellectuals fawning over you, serious looking professors writing serious sounding papers on your prowess? And more importantly , want to live off tens of thousands of dollars of taxpayer money, all quite legally and with full approval and much applause?
If your answer is yes (and why shouldn't it be?), then your savior is Christ.
Oh no, don't worry! No need to kneel and pray, no need to attempt to feel sincerely pious and certainly no need to confess your sins.
But you do need Christ। You need him so that-
- you can dip him in urine and win a prestigious award.
- you may represent his mother(Virgin Mary, remember?) in a collage "decorated with elephant dung and clippings from porn magazines", to be displayed alongside animal parts preserved in formaldehyde and images of penises along with schoolgirl's faces. The Star Chamber of the Tate will love you and give you the Turner prize.
- you can present him as a gay and a black female.
-you may depict Jesus Christ as female, nude, all your expenses paid by the Spanish government.
-hey, dude, think up of your own 'offend a Christian' idea today.
Fame and destiny await you, the art world is salivating for the next Christ smeared, covered,dipped, whatever, in some bodily fluid. The Avant-Garde is marching ahead, don't lag behind!
Or, why not jump to front of the Avant-Garde- suggest something really atrocious, something so shocking, so offensive that not even the boldest of the Avant-Gardist has dared whisper it? Why not replace Christ with some other holy figure( it will be a change, no?), say, some Hindu god or Lord Buddha, or why not ....be really daring here....( hushed voice- ed)the Prophet the people in some parts of the world...where there is plenty of oil, sand and sunshine...revere?
But, hey! What's this? The Avant-Garde seems to be reversing it's direction! It's coming back, it's retreating! It's a full-scale flight !!!! Why do they look sooo pale....and yellow?
Must be something you said.